In this day and age, most people understand that jewelry is pretty much a scam. Sure precious metals like gold, silver, and platinum have some industrial uses and it can be argued that they have been coveted for centuries. But pearls and diamonds are a different story.
They are literally just shiny rocks that have no use whatsoever. Worse yet, giant multinational corporations have a monopoly on these precious stones so they can artificially drive the prices up even higher.
That got Cracked thinking, what would a jewelry commercial sound like if it were totally honest? It might looks something like this hilarious parody ad.